7th post - pretentious world

I feel that we are living in world making up of pretentious people.

I am tired of being the good person giving in to his grandmother. I am frustrated, angry and upset. If someone asked me if I feel guilty talking to her in such manner. My answer would be no.

Today, as usual, Leia is crying for me while I'm holding Ariel.

GrandM: I can follow Ariel, u go and handle Leia.
Me: it's okay. Let Leia cry. She alrdy got her milk and YouTube in her hand. What's more she needs.
GrandM: consoling Leia and walking over, wanting to hold Ariel for me.
Me: it's okay. Even if u follow Ariel, you can't hold her if she falls.

My sis in law instantly looked at me. I always got this feeling that everyone thought that my life is good and easy because their life is simple and easy with parent serving them like king and queen.

Grandmother pretending to be noble when she knows she can't hold Ariel when she falls. Seriously, I do not need anyone to follow Ariel. I need someone to hold her and be there for her if she falls.

Maybe I am angry today is because I choose to stay on Sunday with louis grandmother as I thought she misses my children. I also thinking that ah ni (the helper) could help me with them as well. She is on her off day and my mother in law is at a funeral till 5pm. Again, I'm alone with 2 babies. It's frustrating when I'm trying to make Ariel sleep and Leia is shouting for me to be with her.

I wanted to cry because I feel that i have never done enough. My heart is crying like I have done something horrible.

Please let them grow up faster and healthy.

I will just end this post abruptly.